Figuring Out

 09:34

2nd June, 2026

Tuesday

Hello again! Round 4 of admissions into IITs just happened and Ive retained R&AI from IITG. Waiting for the next rounds to get a better offer. I didnt make it into IITB for MS, no surprise, the interview didnt went any good, so lets move on. There are a lot of things going inside my mind which needs to be organized and needs to be taken action upon. They are:

• Making right choice for admission for PG
• Making money
• Improving physical and mental wellbeing
• Working on projects and build things that matters
• Ride bike
• Grow my youtube channel
• Learn academic things
• Get in direction of research in CS and AI
• Make meaningful and nurturing relationships and maintain which I already have
• Look good and charming
• Improve spoken communication and ability to talk fluently
• Read a lot of fiction and non fiction books
• Write books and create content
• Learn music and make progress in it
• Learn art and sketching and drawing

The list wont stop. I think there are many thinks that needs to be addressed but I know that I cant do all of them at once or in a single day. Some of the above things will need significant amount of efforts and time like in years, some of them needs to be done regularly, and some might take limited amount of time.

I was reading 'The Alchemist' and in the preface, author talked about 'Personal Calling' -- things that drive us towards them. The author said that we should never neglect our personal calling and should take steps towards fulfilling it. There are things that stop us or make us think in opposite direction but we should overcome those hurdles. I agree. But at this moment, I am not very sure what is my personal calling. From childhood, I wanted to learn Computer Science and I am in that direction, I have recently got my B.Tech degree in CSE and I am moving forward in pursuing Post graduation in the same. I wanted to do it and I did. I tell myself you should learn it and I find the applications of it interesting too, but when I sit to learn, to study, I dont feel excited or motivated too much. Is it because I find it hard? Is it not for me? Well, I try to learn, sometimes I find it too easy, it just takes time to digest, but sometimes the math and other concepts are not easy to digest. Maybe I am not in such a state to understand it easily. I know I have the potential and I have also done it in past, it no big deal to study these stuff, I just need to be in a flow state and in a state in which it feel damn easy to understand and study. I have experienced this state a lot of time in past and I can do it again too! I just need a good resource and a attentive mind, that's all! Okay, I have figured the study now, just a good resource and attentive mind that's it. Let's move on.

Right now, I don't know how to make money. Last year, I did internship and made a good project and sold it for 50000 rupees. I bought my laptop from those money. I've made only this much until now. I have some ways in my mind to make money. First of all is to create projects and sell them, like making a website for a store or clinic etc. Second is to find a job, which I cant because I need to go to college now. Third is to grow my youtube channel and earn from their, but it will take a lot of time to get monitize. I cant think any other way. From seeing above options, the best way I can think is to get started with making projects. Okay, I can do that. I can also start creating videos consistently and make growth on youtube. All right, its figured then, make projects and make videos.

Moving onto improving mental and physical wellbeing. I am doing this from last 3 years and I have made a good progress. I just need to start again and get it going regularly. I can do workout at home, not a big deal. For mental wellbeing, I need to get less homesick and try to go out and refresh mind. I need to do other hobbies and work instead of doomscrolling. I can do prayers in the morning or evening, make relationships and hangout with cool people, I just need to find those. Do the things I enjoy after a study session or work session. This is also figured then.

I think I have covered most of the things that I had listed above. All the things listed above perfectly fit in the three catagories: Study, Work, Hobbies. Now comes time management part, this is crucial, when to do what, for how much time. I feel good after completing a study session or work session, so after that I feel I have time to do other things guilt free. So the obvious order is Study/Work -> Hobbies. Now in between study and work, study needs more willpower and brain attention, so Study -> Work will be fine. Now what to study or what to work on or what hobbies to do in their slot is the question, and this is the significant question because I struggle mostly in this part only. I need to make timetable not hourly but at in this week what and at what day. When I figure this all will be automated and I just need to work accordingly. Okay, so its also sorted then! Good. I'll make the plan then.

PS:

23rd August, 2026

I said that the chances of getting IITB are pretty slim and I let that hope go, but in the next round (6th, 13th June), I got the seat! Right now I am sitting in the reading room of my hostel 15 of IITB.